Hi I am about to start a shit storm. I have been thinking about this for a while, and I just couldn’t help but wonder whether or not Natsume truly deserved Mikan after he was killed trying to take down the ESP. Now don’t get me wrong I LOVE the NXM pair, the two of them together is just more interesting to watch for me over Ruka and Mikan. But, after Natsume died the first time I couldn’t help but feel that he might not deserve Mikan after all. Throughout the course of the manga Natsume had struggled with his life threatening alice. He KNEW his limits, but throughtout the entire time he NEVER actually tried to take good care of himself. To me it was always as if it was either “either I sacrifice myself or nothing will change”. It just didn’t like he truly believed in himself enough to achieve both what he wanted to achieve (which was to stop the ESP) while also achieving a life with Mikan. To me he just didn’t fight stronger enough to save himself, as much as he wanted to stop the ESP. So in that sense does Natsume really deserve Mikan? The fact that he couldn’t or didn’t seem to put enough effort into the dream of living a long and happy life with her seems to suggest, maybe she would have been better off with Ruka or someone else..let me know what you think. I still love NXM though, I just wished Natsume could have tried harder.
Anyways let me know what you think
Hmmm, I guess I can see where you’re coming from…
But, Natsume’s condition was already pretty incurable since before he met Mikan. He has the life-shortening Alice type, and he can’t do anything to change that. He’s known since the beginning that his life expectancy probably won’t be long, especially since his mother had the same type, and he knows there’s nothing he can do about it. It’s not like he can change the type he has.
And he can’t really try and live a better life either, because the Academy forces him to go on all these missions. I thought this was one of the biggest reasons why the Dangerous Abilities class was known for being so horrible – that they all probably knew the type of Alice he has, and yet they still forced him to do all those missions and use his fire, even if it harmed him. And he can’t exactly refuse their orders either, even if he’d decided he wanted to live a better life for Mikan, because they constantly abuse him and threaten to kill everyone he loves (which eventually includes Mikan, too, so he’s doing all this to protect her). I mean, one of the saddest (and most angsty) parts of Natsume’s past are that he has no control over his body and his life since the moment he steps foot into the Academy.
You mentioned that possibly Ruka deserves her more since he could live a long life with her, and you know what? That’s exactly what Natsume thinks, too. That’s why he keeps pushing them towards each other, even though he loves her himself, and is also why he asks Ruka to take care of her should anything happen to him, right after he’s finally gotten the girl he’s been pining after. The reason is because he resigned himself to his fate. He knows he’s going to die, probably soon, and that there’s nothing he can do to change it because his illness and his enemies and greater and more powerful than he is.
Now, I don’t actually like talking about whether any of them “deserve” Mikan, because it’s her choice and no one else’s who she chooses, but I think Natsume does. Since he knows he doesn’t have a long time left, he decides that Mikan’s life is more important than his own. He doesn’t focus on the things he can’t change, but rather on the things he can – so he uses his Alice to keep her safe, even if it kills him sooner in return, and he does it all from the shadows and never, ever asks for anything in return. All he wants his for her to never lose her smile. That sounds pretty deserving to me.
And there are a lot of unknowns we haven’t factored in from after the manga ends, mostly because we don’t get that many details about their future. Natsume might not have been able to live a better life while in the Academy, but who’s to say he doesn’t try to after they’ve left? We don’t know whether he ever uses his Alice again, whether he ever has to go on any more missions, or whether he eventually does do all those things you wanted him to do. But I’d like to think he does, because he does want to live a better life with Mikan – it was just that he never had a chance before the War. I mean, he promised her he would never leave her behind alone, remember?
I know which John it isn’t.
Remember in the 90’s there used be a room in your house that was called the “computer room”.